I love flying the same way I love the 2nd floor changing rooms at Bloomingdales. An annoying experience, cramped and a bit miserable that must be endured in order to possess something wonderful. Here is the difference:
If you are at Bloomingdales, get your ass up to the 4th floor, pronto. Much roomier and better mirrors. You're welcome. If you are flying...what's that? Daddy canceled the private jet credit card? Yeah, me too. So if you are flying, make lists of the annoying things that happen at the airport to pass the time. Mine is below:
Stupid things that happen at the airport
1) Taking liquids out of hand baggage. Unzipping, zipping, blah blah blah. Travel size shampoo is indignant enough already without having to suffer all this fiddling around. Also, since they never actually look at the travel size shampoo, why do they make you take it out of the bag?
2) Lines.
The lines at the airport are the worst type of lines. Full of families with children, guided by incomprehensible announcements and constantly shifting around. And the only reward at the end is some dumb, undersized seat no one wants to sit in anyway.
3) Clothing.
Why do airports make terrible slogan clothing okay? For example today I saw:
-Dopey canvas hangbag that said 'I am not a morning person'
-Paisley tee shirt stating 'Be who you are'
-A teenage boy wearing a tee shirt that said 'Born in USA. Party in Portugal.' No, no, no.
4) The shifting around of baggage.
All the rules! Hand luggage includes a purse, a hat, you baby is hand luggage, your baby gets its own hand luggage, but it has to be a stroller, your duty free shopping bag and anything you can jam inside are welcome to board...it's exhausting enough to make me need a coffee...
5) Coffee
See lines. The coffee isn't even worth it. And I get very cranky when I can't have coffee.
Sigh. See you in Lisbon
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