Friday, September 12, 2014

Interesting Questions for Friday Happy Hour

Friday afternoon happy hour is important. It is a chance to get to know the people that you work with on another level.  This, in turn, WILL allow you to work better with them.  If you use happy hour to your advantage and make sure people like you.  And you know what people like at happy hour? Interesting conversations!

It is the curse of the Friday afternoon happy hour--the awkward conversation with the boring coworker.  Luckily, my co-workers are fabulous (hi, co-workers!) but for those of you not so lucky, happy hour is an important time to be well-versed in your communication skills.  No one wants to talk about work and if you don't have something interesting to say you will just sip your cocktail through that teeny wrinkle-inducing straw, feeling stupid and boring in equal measure. Friday afternoon is NO time to feel stupid and boring.  Save that sh*t for Monday.

Here are some conversation starters that will allow you to truly relax, seem interesting and avoid talking about work:

1) What are you doing this weekend?  
If they say nothing, keep at it.  "Oh, just relaxing, that's so nice. Do you have a good book to read?"  They are, in fact, doing SOMETHING this weekend, you just need to dig a little to find out what it is.  Think of this conversation like a treasure hunt, where the treasure is dragging moderately interesting information out of people.

2) Did you learn anything new/interesting this week?
Someone asked me this during lunch one day recently, and I was blown away by the level of conversation this simple question allows for. You could also ask a variation, like "What was the best/most interesting part of your week?" to avoid the short "No" response popular with boring people.

3) Have you ever been here before?
Who knows, you might get a funny story out of someone. Again, if they say no, don't be deterred, continue with something like "Where do you like to hang out?".  Remember, they have SOMETHING to talk about, you just have to figure out what it is.

4) Do you want to play a game? 
Get your mind out of the gutter. Suggest a stupid word game like "Would you rather" or "Live, Vacation, Never Go" (the clean version of "Screw, Date, Kill").

5) Did you read the article/see the exhibition/hear about the guy who....?
When all else fails, start talking about yourself. Think about something you read or did recently or a story you heard.  Remember, YOU are interesting and fabulous.  Find something to say.

When all else fails....
In really desperate situations, excuse yourself with decorum simply by saying "Excuse me".  Maybe they are having a bad day or trying to hit on the bartender and you are in their line of eye contact. Who cares? You don't need to suck down your drink to make up an excuse to leave.  Seriously, those straws give you wrinkles. And at least you tried. And hey, tomorrow's Saturday!


Saturday, September 6, 2014

Happiness is...

Hi readers,

For what it's worth, I've had a challenging month.  I packed my life up into some suitcases, moved to a new country where I don't speak the language, found a new apartment and started a new job.  The changes have left my head spinning at the end of most days and given a new depth to those all-important 3 little words: emotional roller coaster.


I am generally a very happy person.  This month has tested my ability to stay happy in the face of massive, decisive life changes. I have never been so uncertain about my direction, my ability to succeed and the general strength of my character as I have been while walking, tired and alone down (beautiful) foreign streets, single and trying to fit in with an entire new culture worth of people.

I've been reflecting a lot on my happiness.  I realized, more than anything else, happiness is a choice.

Happiness is a choice. 


The all-powerful wizzard of Oz (aka Arianna Huffington) absolutely nailed it with this article.  The suggestions features editor Carolyn Gregoire gives are all wonderful.  Take the time to read it!  Or, read my budget interpretations below, in my newly created, hot off the presses fingertips...drumroll please.....

HAPPINESS OATH

1.  Self-Reflection
I will not be afraid of self-reflection and I will always try to end reflection in a place of joy
2.  Laughter
I will laugh at least once a day, preferably at a time when I would rather scream or cry
3.  Presence 
I will live in the moment so I can enjoy time as it passes
4.  Relationships
I will cherish my family and my friendships
5.  Self-Respect
I will sleep well, exercise well, eat well and be thankful towards my beautiful body for all it can do 


What would you add?  Take away?  Comment below : )

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

New Job Anxiety and How to Overcome It

New things are scary. Just think about the last time you moved or switched hair stylists or the first hipster outfit you bought...scary scary scary.



As any fearless, fabulous, modern woman knows, scary and exciting are like Max and Caroline on 2 Broke Girls-they like to travel hand in hand, Laverne-and-Shirley style, shoving their skinny faces with amazing cupcakes. In other words--to have an exciting life, you need to grab scary for a high school make-out session and live out of your comfort zone.


A new job is the ultimate scary/exciting experience. By definition you must put your comfortable, fuzzy-blanket past behind you, step on some professional stiletto-clad toes, and unequivocally start over. There is no 'oh maybe I will come back to my old job with a drunken 3 AM phone call' wavering that stigmatizes leaving OTHER things behind. A new job is total sink or swim territory. 
So, how do you do it right?

Seeing as I'm starting a new job TOMORROW, this topic has been heavy on my mind. Here is some of my best advice:

1) Be organized. Make lists, take notes, write down people's names and take time to process new information. Clean your desk off at the end of the day and go through all your new papers, folders, binder clips. It will help you feel in control and will help you LOOK like you are in control, which is important because there are definitely people watching. Which brings us to point two...

2) Get there early, stay there late. Even if it's just for the first few weeks. Even if it's just a few minutes. It will help you get organized and people will definitely notice (in a good way, not like when you changed your stylist)

3) Be social. These people you are meeting, they are your new friends/work family AND a wonderful source of information about the copy machine, best lunch spot and the things the boss loves and hates. The best use of your time (after, of course, you get organized, which you will do early/late) is to be friendly and get to know them.

4) Remember: you know what you're doing. There is a reason you got hired. Transfer any skills possible from your old work.  Trust yourself, speak up (politely) in meetings if you think you have an important question or an idea worth hearing.

5) Smile.  Seriously. Put the resting-bitch-face away for a few weeks. While you are listening to people or meeting people or washing your hands in the restroom next to someone who may own a 51% share in your company, you need to smile. A good first impression is worth a little bit of that precious collagen. 

What other advice would you give someone on their first day of work (like me, on my first day of work...which did I mention is tomorrow? Time for bed!)

Monday, September 1, 2014

Seeking a Purpose

In considering my blog (in my adorable, self-involved way), I realized I have felt a little lost lately because my writing here has lacked purpose.  I don't know who I want my audience to be or why I want them to read.  Thoughts about ex-boyfriends?  Advice on the larger purpose of life?  Useful topographic maps of major international department stores?  It's just so hard to whittle down a focus!!


Thankfully, the internet exists to help answer
such questions.  I checked out The Mimialists "How to Start a Successful Blog" and felt immediately inspired and rejuvenated. After several page redirects and some careful thought I recalled my purpose.  I want to give funny, insightful advice on life to women in their 20s and 30s.  If you don't need advice, more power to you! Congratulations! You can can download online Sephora coupons by clicking here.

If you are still with me, riddle me this: what do women want advice about?  So many things! Men. Shoes. Work. Family. Friends. Cooking. Interesting conversations. Financial advice.

How to live a more meaningful existence?  I realized I've been writing a lot about this lately.  Obviously I should knock it off and write more about shoes and cooking (for financial advice, check out Paula Pant and Afford Anything-she does better than I ever could!).  But, before I get off my #deepthoughts kick, here is one more round of advice for a more purposeful existence.

3 STEPS TO A MORE PURPOSEFUL EXISTENCE 

1) Take a Step Back.  Life is a series of moments.  If you never step back to consider how the moments are connected, it's easy to drift.  Take time to pause and reflect.  Set goals and refer to them. Don't be afraid to start out in a new direction if you feel like you're not achieiving your maximum potential.  Take it from a girl who just dropped a wonderful life in NYC like a bad habit and hopped the pond--change is good.

2) Find something big to believe in.  God.  Art.  Nature.  Facebook.  All of the above.  Find deeper meaning by connecting your random time on this planet to something bigger than yourself.  When you are drawing connections in your life, it is helpful if you have something to connect them TO.

3) Surround yourself with interesting conversation.  Yes, this means you need to read the news.  READ THE NEWS.  Go to art galleries, operas, pop music concerts, new restaurants, free book readings.  What else do you have to talk about?  Turn off your TV, unplug your computer and go do something. Hasta luego!