Wait Time

Hi reader,

I want to engage in a little warm up activity:

Step 1: Close your mouth and breathe in through your nose

Step 2: Silently, slowly count to 5

Congratulations! You have just practiced the art of "how to shut the f#ck up for 5 seconds".  It's something I've realized recently I need more of in my life.  As a teacher, a female and a general eager-to-please type of person, I am not a huge fan of gaps in conversation.  It makes me uncomfortable-in that itchy, social-hives, am-I-boring kind of way.  However, while googling ways to have better conversations with my boyfriends students and professional colleagues, I came across lots of interesting tips about the importance of "wait time", the art of pausing to allow for better flow and deeper dialogue during conversation.  For example, did you know:

1) "Wait time" is a cultural phenomena--different lengths of time are observed in different areas and social situations.  You should pay attention to social cues in your environment to figure out appropriate wait time

2) "Wait time" can be interpreted as a sign of intelligence--it shows you are deeply considering and processing the question or information presented.  Always take a deep breath before you answer in important situations like big meetings, job interviews and "would you rather" at Sunday brunch.  

3) "Wait time" should be a few seconds longer in a dialogue between only two people-when your friend asks, "How are you?" over a coffee, take a few seconds to consider your answer.  It will lead to more interesting conversation. 

When will YOU "shut the f#ck up for 5 seconds"?  You'll be amazed how drastically it changes the pace, depth and direction of your conversations throughout the day.