Hi reader,
One of the things I love most about being a woman is the amount of honest thought I put into my friendships. I consider them, I nurture them, I treasure them and I watch them grow (or wither and die) with huge amounts of purpose and satisfaction. Many aspects of my life are better when I am putting significant thought into my friendships.
As I was researching for this post I realized there has already been a tremendous amount written about the different types of friends women have. Springboards, mirrors, toxic friends, peanut butter friends, cheerleaders, Lamborgihinis, Volkswagons, bicycles, etc etc, whatever. So instead of restating the "5 Types of Friends You NEED in Your Life" drivel, here is what it boils down to for me:
Your friends are a reflection of who you are. Good friends are fabulous. Bad friends will weigh you down faster than 2 AM McDonalds and depress you more than the resulting cellulite. Instead of searching out certain friends and pigeon-holing existing relationships into weird, pre-defined-by-someone-else roles, here are the questions you need to periodically ask about the friends that are in your life:
1. What do they bring to the table? There is no wrong answer to this question. Maybe you are looking for someone who loves to go snowshoeing with you. Maybe you are looking for someone that knows the maître di at Per Le. No judgement--both are perfectly acceptable desires. As long as you feel like your friend is contributing someone that you desire to the relationships, the friendship has room for growth
2. Are there any aspects of this person that are a total pain-in-the-ass deal breaker for you? Keep in mind--this deal breaker, much like your secret love of Zach Efron, may only to applicable in certain situations. The same girl who you love to call when you are looking for a crazy Saturday night may well be a disaster when you are going to a serious career networking event. You simply need to navigate the people into the right situations in your life.
3. Are you satisfied with your friendships? Because odds are, you know a lot of people. Invite one of them (a friend-of-a-friend, the new girl at work, whatever) to go do something. You don't make new friends by reading blogs and eating ice cream alone. Go!
One of the things I love most about being a woman is the amount of honest thought I put into my friendships. I consider them, I nurture them, I treasure them and I watch them grow (or wither and die) with huge amounts of purpose and satisfaction. Many aspects of my life are better when I am putting significant thought into my friendships.
As I was researching for this post I realized there has already been a tremendous amount written about the different types of friends women have. Springboards, mirrors, toxic friends, peanut butter friends, cheerleaders, Lamborgihinis, Volkswagons, bicycles, etc etc, whatever. So instead of restating the "5 Types of Friends You NEED in Your Life" drivel, here is what it boils down to for me:
Your friends are a reflection of who you are. Good friends are fabulous. Bad friends will weigh you down faster than 2 AM McDonalds and depress you more than the resulting cellulite. Instead of searching out certain friends and pigeon-holing existing relationships into weird, pre-defined-by-someone-else roles, here are the questions you need to periodically ask about the friends that are in your life:
1. What do they bring to the table? There is no wrong answer to this question. Maybe you are looking for someone who loves to go snowshoeing with you. Maybe you are looking for someone that knows the maître di at Per Le. No judgement--both are perfectly acceptable desires. As long as you feel like your friend is contributing someone that you desire to the relationships, the friendship has room for growth2. Are there any aspects of this person that are a total pain-in-the-ass deal breaker for you? Keep in mind--this deal breaker, much like your secret love of Zach Efron, may only to applicable in certain situations. The same girl who you love to call when you are looking for a crazy Saturday night may well be a disaster when you are going to a serious career networking event. You simply need to navigate the people into the right situations in your life.
3. Are you satisfied with your friendships? Because odds are, you know a lot of people. Invite one of them (a friend-of-a-friend, the new girl at work, whatever) to go do something. You don't make new friends by reading blogs and eating ice cream alone. Go!
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