Pictures of Italy

Hi readers,
As promised, some vacation photos from Rome and Florence below.

                             

Benefits and Drawbacks of Facebook

Hi readers,

I don't go on Facebook much. After a rather messy breakup several years ago that involved some "extracurricular" Facebook-inspired sex (not on my part, mind you, all my sex is inspired by cheap porn and dungeons and dragons fantasies) I sort of lost faith in the institutions of mainstream social media. Because hey, it turns out a lot of people use Facebook for bad sex, and ex-stalking, and a myriad of other non-fabulous activities that I generally do not have time for.

The upside: I miss all the BIG news about what cartoon character best represents who, the mommy advice debates about the BEST daycare groups in the SUBURBS and the variety of complaints about work/politics/neighbors/family members/restaurants/vacations/Mondays/traffic.

The continued upside: I have more time to do activities outdoors, read books, have conversations with people and plan vacations.

The downside: Readers I must confess...I struggle with where to post my vacation photos! They just sit on my computer, sad and alone, with no "likes" or witty comments to keep them company.
I need an Internet soap box, accessible to my friends and family, with the capacity upload pictures....how many blondes does it take to figure this one out?

Watch this space for some awesome vacation pictures, coming soon! 

Stay fabulous 

Summer Fashion 2015

Hi reader,
Is it just me or did Laura Ashley throw up all over the spring runways H&M collections?  Over here in Spain we are deeply rooted in some late 1990's, flowers and floppy hats, Blossom-type fashion statements.  (What up Mayim Bialik!)  Not that I am complaining!  I, for one, did not look nearly as adorable in flower prints when I was nine as I (think I) do now.

In the interest of trying to stay fashionable moderately fashionable fully clothed in the coming months, I am having these deep thoughts as I caffeinate myself for some spring shopping (the fabulous, drunk sister of spring cleaning).  In my 9 AM, 5-dollar-latte infused haze, I'm hoping this will be the year my "sense of style" will extend beyond solid color cotton t-shirts and cheap flats. A girl can dream, right?   Some looks from vogue.com, youfashion.info and H&M below.

Wish me luck!

 

Morning Sunshine!

Hi reader,

In my modern working girl life fantasies, I spring out of bed in the morning fashionable and fabulous, efficiently iMessaging about important appointments and ready to change the world every day. Like this:

                                          


In reality, this morning when my alarm clock went off I stretched, blinked half heartedly and spent 5 minutes trying to think of something exciting enough about my looming day to get me out of bed. Like this:

                                          

               

If you ever feel the same way, here is a list of things to do to help you get out of bed in the morning.

Morning List of Fabulous

1) Lay out your outfit the night before. Wake up excited about how adorable you are going to look all day.
2) Find an Op-Ed column (Maureen Dowd is better than a cup of coffee any day) or blog (AHEM) that you like to read for 5 minutes in the morning. Religious texts work too--namaste, amen, etc, etc
3) Buy an AWESOME coffee machine.
4) Wake up with time to sit down and have breakfast.  Make something good, preferably the night before--see Shape Magazine's recs here
5) Put a piece of candy next to sink in the bathroom. Whatever, you're about to brush your teeth anyway.  On a diet?  Totally, me too.  Put a sticky note with an awesome song lyric, self-congratulatory note or a gentle, loving reminder not to be such a fat-ass on the mirror

Good luck! Almost Friday...

Wait Time

Hi reader,

I want to engage in a little warm up activity:

Step 1: Close your mouth and breathe in through your nose

Step 2: Silently, slowly count to 5

Congratulations! You have just practiced the art of "how to shut the f#ck up for 5 seconds".  It's something I've realized recently I need more of in my life.  As a teacher, a female and a general eager-to-please type of person, I am not a huge fan of gaps in conversation.  It makes me uncomfortable-in that itchy, social-hives, am-I-boring kind of way.  However, while googling ways to have better conversations with my boyfriends students and professional colleagues, I came across lots of interesting tips about the importance of "wait time", the art of pausing to allow for better flow and deeper dialogue during conversation.  For example, did you know:

1) "Wait time" is a cultural phenomena--different lengths of time are observed in different areas and social situations.  You should pay attention to social cues in your environment to figure out appropriate wait time

2) "Wait time" can be interpreted as a sign of intelligence--it shows you are deeply considering and processing the question or information presented.  Always take a deep breath before you answer in important situations like big meetings, job interviews and "would you rather" at Sunday brunch.  

3) "Wait time" should be a few seconds longer in a dialogue between only two people-when your friend asks, "How are you?" over a coffee, take a few seconds to consider your answer.  It will lead to more interesting conversation. 

When will YOU "shut the f#ck up for 5 seconds"?  You'll be amazed how drastically it changes the pace, depth and direction of your conversations throughout the day. 

Happy Spring

Hi Readers,

I'm back! It's been a long winter with lots of work stress, dry skin and writing about the general and consuming frustrations of life in my paper journals.  Then I thought, "Self...this is the year 2015.  Take this self-involved diatribe back to the interwebs!" So here I sit, clicking away self-consciously, trying to find a way to reconcile all of my innermost thoughts and problems to this very public forum.

The first thing it makes me realize about my problems...they're stupid.

I'm not very good at my job.  Who cares?  My clothes don't fit very well over my newly-acquired Spanish "ham butt".  Go shopping! I don't have enough time to meditate.  Grasshopper needs to get her spanish ham butt off Instagram and MAKE time.

It's all about keeping a positive attitude, right?  This spring I want to stay positive and mindful and it's HARD and that in itself is sort of stupid.  Why is it hard to simply be present in a moment?  Here are some practices I want to try:

4 Beginner Level, Totally Made-Up Mindfulness Practices:

1) Smile.  At a stranger (or just someone I don't know very well, so I don't start getting stalked by creepy strangers).  At least once a day.
2) Make small talk (and listen).  As a New Yorker, I'm genetically engineered to tune out when people start blathering on at me if I'm busy.  Recently (I think it has something to do with hanging around Europeans) I am realizing the art of "chit-chat".  It's cute.  I think it's how people that don't drink alcohol make friends?
3) Flowers. Look at them, grow them, buy them, whatever.  I want flowers (see photo). It's spring.
4) Passion projects.  Hence the blogging.  Passion provides roots in the world, gives me something to light up about.  If it was important enough for Google employees, that's good enough for me.

Do you have any mindfulness practices you like to use to stay positive and in the moment?  And hey, what the hell have you been up to for the past 3 months?! Comment below and let me know.  Happy Spring!

Pick and Choose

I spend a lot of time every day asking myself questions.

Do I really want that croissant?  Will I still be able to button my pants if I eat that croissant?  What is going to happen with Ebola?  If I am going to die of Ebola anyway, why not just eat the stupid croissant?

Etc.

This type of internal dialogue is what gets me through the day. I have perfected my, "Oh, of course I'm paying attention to what your saying. You are so INTERESTING. Please go on." face so that I can happily talk to myself inside my head while people are blathering on about....well, frankly I have no idea what.

Lately, my internal questions have been focused around happiness (hence all the french pastry references).  The two questions that have kept me wondering are points I think it is important for everyone to consider:

How many things do you do every day because you feel like you have to?

How would your life be different if you focused on doing only the things you wanted to?

I do lots of things every day because I feel like I have to.  Wake up and go to work. Put on pants that do not allow me to plow an endless stream of croissants into my face. Act friendly moderately friendly tolerant towards people I do not enjoy speaking to. Save money.  Research health insurance options. Drink water instead of vodka soda coffee. Some of these things are important in the long run. Some, I am coming to realize, are simply an excuse to remain in a whirlpool state of moderate dissatisfaction.

"Oh, of course I'm not that happy.  I have to (fill in this blank with some annoying activity) every day/week/month/whatever."  

In considering this conundrum, I have reached the following ideal:  

I would like to be happy, immediately in-the-moment happy, 80% of the time.  Even at work. Even talking to people I don't enjoy. Even if I'm tired. 

The other 20% I will be satisfied participating in activities that I believe have the potential to make me happy in the future (actively attempting not to lose my job, picking a good health care package, collecting my birth control pills thyroid medication from the pharmacy, etc)

This may take some life tailoring.

Step 1:  Actively consider the activities that make me unhappy. For me, this is anything that causes stress.  Measure their importance and the amount of time spent on these activities.

Step 2: Actively consider the activities that make me happy. For me, this may involve reading books, resting and (gasp) having fun at work with the 100 students I teach every day.  Instead of making them think life is a series of serious, boring meetings.  (Which, side note, if you're not careful, it is.)

Step 3: Organize my time so I spend more of my day on the things that make me happy. "Work smarter" as they say, and get unpleasant things over with quickly.

Step 4: Reassess.  Are the activities I picked causing me long term happiness?  Is there stress from anything I am leaving undone?

In celebration of the fall, I am going to embark on this little experiment.  The 80% experiment. Deep breath (because they make me happy, duh). Wish me luck.