Hi reader,
I know everyone has been dying of curiosity about how my New Year's Resolution is going. I figured I would drag out the suspense for as long as possible, which brings us to our mid-March dating update.
Dating is hilarious. Here are my favorite new things about dating in NYC:
1) It's a casualhookup.com world. It is totally socially acceptable, and almost expected, that 20s and 30s New Yorkers meet strangers on internet dating sites and then text them while intoxicated to meet up. Dinner and a movie? Not going to happen. Like NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WILL HAPPEN. 1-3 drinks depending on night of week and level of attraction. In other parts of the country, people would be arrested for prostitution if they attempted the kind of dating that everyone I know participates in here.
2) Chivalry ain't free. Guys think its okay, in this age of women's liberation, to split the check on the first date. Newsflash: It's not. Equal opportunity payment starts on the second date. If you want there to BE a second date, cough up.
3) I'm dating your iPhone. Youtube videos and internet memes are now a feature in my dates. Because my dates take out their phones and we sit quietly together, watching some viral grumpy cat/what does the fox say video and commenting on the banality of it all. The banality is this: if you are meeting me for the first time and need to take your phone out for our conversation to remain interesting, just use it to dial yourself a cab.
So, while all these habits are irksome…in a "I'd-rather-be-at-work-than-here-with-this-loser" type of way…when life gives me lemons I like to squeeze them into my vodka-soda, roll with the punches and practice my sexiest, I'm-so-interested face. Because I figure one of two things will happen:
1) If I'm doing it wrong (often) the boring guy will think I'm having a stroke and leave
2) If I'm doing it correctly (rarely) other men will flock around to see what is so fascinating. Also, to pay for drinks so I will make my irresistible, tell-me-MORE-about-your-finance-job face at them.
Either way I get to have a cocktail with only a 50% chance I'm going to pay. Which is better odds than if I'm alone OR with a steady boyfriend OR in Vegas. Winners all around.
I know everyone has been dying of curiosity about how my New Year's Resolution is going. I figured I would drag out the suspense for as long as possible, which brings us to our mid-March dating update.
Dating is hilarious. Here are my favorite new things about dating in NYC:
1) It's a casualhookup.com world. It is totally socially acceptable, and almost expected, that 20s and 30s New Yorkers meet strangers on internet dating sites and then text them while intoxicated to meet up. Dinner and a movie? Not going to happen. Like NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WILL HAPPEN. 1-3 drinks depending on night of week and level of attraction. In other parts of the country, people would be arrested for prostitution if they attempted the kind of dating that everyone I know participates in here.
2) Chivalry ain't free. Guys think its okay, in this age of women's liberation, to split the check on the first date. Newsflash: It's not. Equal opportunity payment starts on the second date. If you want there to BE a second date, cough up.
3) I'm dating your iPhone. Youtube videos and internet memes are now a feature in my dates. Because my dates take out their phones and we sit quietly together, watching some viral grumpy cat/what does the fox say video and commenting on the banality of it all. The banality is this: if you are meeting me for the first time and need to take your phone out for our conversation to remain interesting, just use it to dial yourself a cab. So, while all these habits are irksome…in a "I'd-rather-be-at-work-than-here-with-this-loser" type of way…when life gives me lemons I like to squeeze them into my vodka-soda, roll with the punches and practice my sexiest, I'm-so-interested face. Because I figure one of two things will happen:
1) If I'm doing it wrong (often) the boring guy will think I'm having a stroke and leave
2) If I'm doing it correctly (rarely) other men will flock around to see what is so fascinating. Also, to pay for drinks so I will make my irresistible, tell-me-MORE-about-your-finance-job face at them.
Either way I get to have a cocktail with only a 50% chance I'm going to pay. Which is better odds than if I'm alone OR with a steady boyfriend OR in Vegas. Winners all around.
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